


What We Deserve

by FreshBrains



Series: Femslash 100 Drabble tag 6 [76]
Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Community: femslash100, F/F, POV Cosima, Past Relationship(s), Post-Season/Series 03, Sad, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-07-25
Packaged: 2018-04-11 05:40:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4423508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreshBrains/pseuds/FreshBrains
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>What are you so afraid of?</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	What We Deserve

**Author's Note:**

  * For [notherhappyending](https://archiveofourown.org/users/notherhappyending/gifts).



> For the Femslash100 Drabble Tag 6 prompt: Cosima/Shay - afraid.
> 
> Delphine's fate is left ambiguous here.

Shay is perfect, and one day, Cosima opens her eyes and realizes she doesn’t deserve her.

Shay’s gentle, she’s smart, and she always knows what to say. Her voice is raspy and honey-smooth at the same time, and in the early morning light, her blond hair is like gold in the sunshine, and she’s everything Cosima’s been wanting for a really, really long time.

Ever since…well, ever since Delphine. She can’t deny it. And now Delphine is gone and Cosima is still too chicken-shit to tell Shay about her sisters, about Leda and Castor, because she still has this tiny worry in the back of her mind that Shay will run for the hills.

“I wish I knew what was going on up here,” Shay says, scratching her nails lightly against Cosima’s scalp, sending shivers down to her toes.

Cosima inhales sharply, and the words are on the tip of her tongue— _I’m not just one person, I’m hardly a person at all, I’m an experiment_. But Shay’s hands are gentle and sure on her skin, her eyes so crystal blue it hurts to look at them, and Cosima just…can’t.

 _What are you so afraid of?_ The question repeats itself, in her own voice, in Sarah’s rougher tone, in Alison’s gentle lilt, in Helena’s stilted rasp. Cosima doesn’t know. She doesn’t know much anymore.

So she curls up in Shay’s arms and doesn’t talk and hopes that someday, somehow, she’ll find the answers to her own important questions.


End file.
